Whit's Wisdom

My Grandson, Evan, is an adorable bundle of joy....until it's time to change his diaper.  Then he turns into a squirming, screaming bundle of aaaaaarrrrgggghhh!!!!  I had girls...20 years ago.  I don't remember there ever being a problem with diaper changes.  Maybe this is like childbirth though.  God helps you forget all the excruciating PAIN.  All I know is when Evan needs a diaper change I look at the clock to see if there is anyway possible I can wait until his Mother gets home!

I can't stand him crying.  My daughters both believe I am too softhearted, but it isn't that at all.  I can't stand the sound.  The only thing worse than the sound of a kid pitching a fit is someone eating potato chips with their mouths open.  So I avoid his crying at all costs.  Sorry, Dr. Phil and Nanny McPhee, he's a grandson - I don't have to be the bad guy!

Getting to the point finally - when it came time to change Evan's diaper yesterday, I flew him into his room like an airplane.  I pretended to drop him on his head a couple of times.  I blew on his belly.  I made silly fart noises with my mouth.  He still cried.  He still twisted.  He still wriggled and wraggled.  I finally took the diaper, hooked the Velcro on each side making it a pair of underwear, stood him up and pulled up that diaper like a pair of pants.  No screaming....no crying....although I did see a little twinge of "curses, foiled again!" in his eyes.

I broke down and told his Mom about it today.  I assumed the lecture position (back turned, eyes rolled back in my head)  but was delighted to find out I was a GENIUS to her.  She used the same Grammie method and it worked perfectly. Perhaps I should invent something....oh, never mind.

Grammie - 1
Evan - 0

I had a friend suggest that I start blogging again.  I had no idea until I pulled up my account that I had been inactive for three years!  THREE YEARS!  So very much has changed in my life and, as a result, I completely understand WHY it has been THREE YEARS since I've posted.  But guess what?  I won't bore you with the changes....at least not all at once.

I will inform everyone that I am now a very young, hot, sexy....ok....youngish and forget the rest....Grandmother (Grammie) of an adorable 15 month old boy named Evan.  He is the reason I get up in the morning and why I am so very tired when I go to bed at night.  I love him with every fiber of my being.  And now that I am a Grammie/Nanny, my friend, again, suggested I should share my Grammie tips.  This is because she must have some insane idea that I know what I am doing taking care of a 15 month old little boy!  I have a feeling that this blog will turn into more of a "omg, guess how he tricked me TODAY" blog, but perhaps with my mishaps you, the reader, might learn what NOT to do.

I hope to entertain and maybe educate a tad over the coming year; if not, you can always print this out and line your birdcages with my writings.

I'm happy to be back!

Whitney

Whit's Wisdom

Don't Hate - Educate!

Did you know you are supposed to floss your teeth BEFORE you brush them?  Seriously.  I've had teeth for how long?  How did I not know this?

My job is done.  Now go out there and save some teeth!!

Whit's Wisdom Disney 2011 Blog Special

Day 1 - Travel Day

I hope you enjoyed my family history yesterday and are ready to travel!

We normally travel early in the morning (ok, we PLAN on leaving early in the morning, but it's usually no earlier than 10 a.m.), but school constraints on Steph pushed us to an afternoon departure.  Since we knew this before we booked our reservations, we decided to drive most of the way to Disney on Tuesday, spend the night in Gainesville, FL, and drive the remaining 2 hours in the morning.  (Which provides me with a nice segue into my tips section!)

Tip #1 - Hotels.com

Use it!  I have booked two hotel rooms recently and I have gotten exceptional deals on each and they were both very nice, clean rooms.  It is so much cheaper, and easier, to book online ahead of time instead of being tired and grumpy and trying to find a decent hotel once you are worn out.  We have done it both ways before, and, well, let's just say Gary didn't end up sleeping in a window seat THIS trip.  If you are a super saver, create an account on Ebates.com and then link through them to Hotels.com to receive a cash back rebate!  http://www.ebates.com/index.htm, http://www.hotels.com/  (and if they ask who referred you, please say me!)

Tip #2 - Eat a good breakfast (or lunch or dinner) BEFORE you leave your home.  Gary cooked us some bacon and big, fat, yummy cinnamon rolls about an hour before departure.  (And with it being vacation food, it didn't matter how many calories - right??).  One of my biggest pet peeves is getting 20 minutes from the house and having to stop to eat.  Not only is it money wasteful, but it wastes time too!  I don't love the car ride - don't make it last longer than it has to be!  So make sure your bellies are good and full before you leave.

Tip #3 - Bring along a cooler of drinks and a bag of snacks.  Why, yes, I DID just say my belly was full, but it's VACATION...and you are traveling....in a car.  MUNCHIES - duh.  You'll save so much money bringing your own instead of stopping at a convenience store.  So.MUCH.Money.

(sssshhhh.....hidden tip #1 -  if worse comes to absolute worse, you can always use the cooler to, uhm, empty your bladder when there isn't a bathroom in sight for the next 100 miles.  It happens to the best of us.  I line my cooler with a large plastic garbage bag.  That way you aren't actually 'relieving' in the cooler - but in a garbage bag.)

Tip #4 - If you have a traveler who can't seem to pass a bathroom without having to stop and check it out, check this out - Uricalm. http://www.everydayhealth.com/drugs/uricalm.  By all means, READ THE LABEL and if this is something you think isn't for you - don't try it.  But I am here to tell you - it keeps the urges at bay!  It also turns your urine bright orange and can stain the toilet if you don't flush quickly...just so you know.

Tip #5 - Movies, movies, movies!  I don't know who came up with the idea of those little tv's in vehicles, but they were geniuses!!  We actually just use my laptop now to watch dvd's (Disney movies - what else???) but back in 1999, Gary actually bought a small tv, an outlet adapter, and a vhs and shoved them all between the front seats of his Jeep!  Kept two little ones quiet for hours.  What is an added bonus is that the driver (in our case, Gary) has something to listen to also.

Tip #6 - Trivial Pursuit cards.  The last time I went to the Thrift Store I noticed they had tons and tons of old Trivial Pursuit games that people had given away.  I bought one and we take a packet of cards (there's like a bazillion questions in one pack) with us when we travel long distances.  It's really quite entertaining, and, heck yes, even a bit educational.

Tip #7 - Regardless of whether your Uricalm is working or not, take a couple of breaks from riding and stretch your legs.  The driver gets tired -  regardless of  his He-Man status the fact that he can sit for hours and hours and hours at the computer playing a game.  It's good for your mind to focus on something other than the road for a few minutes.

Tip #8 - I probably should have mentioned this earlier, but since you haven't left on vacation yet, you still have time to heed my advice.  If you are splitting your trip up like we did, pack a 'take in the hotel for the night only' suitcase, which will contain ONLY what you need for that one night.  Everyone packs jammies, the next days clothes, toiletries (and not all of them - only what you absolutely need), into one suitcase....and then place that suitcase on top of all the other suitcases.  Believe me, when you are tired and just want to get some sleep, grabbing that one bag is going to make you sing my praises for weeks!  (But actually Steph came up with this idea - so sing about her a little too.)

(ssshhhhh - hidden tip #2 -  Pack a couple of garbage bags for dirty clothes.  But keep socks and undies separate from all other clothing.  Why??  Well, if you need to re-wear blue jeans - eh, no big.  If you need to re-wear blue jeans and your Dad's undies have been laying next to them for a week....gross.)

Tip #8 - (again, probably should have mentioned this earlier) - but try to limit your trip to "bearable".  Don't drive until the wee hours of the morning and expect to wake up refreshed and ready to tackle DISNEY.  You are going to want to check in and hit the parks as soon as you can.  Don't waste that time - and money - being tired and grumpy.  Eat a good dinner and get a decent night's sleep so you are ready to seize the day!

And who else always seizes the day?  Why, that'd be Winnie the Pooh!  So let's finish with words of wisdom - courtesy of Edward  Bear.  

“It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?"”

Whit's Wisdom Disney 2011 Blog Special

Hi-Ho All!!!  I have definitely been MIA these last few months but I sure hope to get back in the blogging groove and start sharing all the little tidbits I pick up in this Wonderful World of Whitdom.  My Family and I just got back from a fabulous vacation in Walt Disney World, Florida.  The whole time we were there I kept running across things that I just knew I had to share with my readers....mainly because I love to talk (type?) a lot!  So here we go - off to Neverland!!!

Disney Vacation - The Back Story

I figured the easiest way to share our hints and tips was to take it day by day....we'll see how this goes.  But before I can begin, I have to give you the Reader's Digest version of US.  We are a family of 4.  A Husband, a Wife, a 21 year old Daughter (who celebrated her 'birthday week' in Disney) and a 16 year old Daughter.  We are also known as Gary, Whitney, Stephanie and Samantha.  (You'll probably hear a lot about us in the next few days.)  Gary and I were married on June 15, 1999 and he was fortunate enough to not only marry me, but my two girls as well.  We spent our Honeymoon - ALL OF US - in Disney.  It was the beginning of a wonderful relationship!  Not just our love for each other but our love for Disney!!!  

We have traveled back 3 times since (including this trip) and always swear we are going back every year.  Of course, we said that back in 1999 and, because of money restraints, it obviously did not happen.  But we are older and wiser now.  Wiser because the first year we paid for everything using a credit card...and probably spent the next two years paying it off.  We don't do things that way anymore!  Older because our kids - who aren't kids anymore - understand that if we want to go on vacation then we have to make sacrifices throughout the year to pay for it.  If we go on vacation it is PAID IN FULL --- money in the bank to cover all charges -- before we pull out of the driveway.  It saves a ton of money, a ton of worry and a ton on wrinkle cream!! (Worry = wrinkles; wrinkles=wrinkle cream!!)

I'm pretty big into couponing (not extreme - please don't put me with those crazies!) - and one day in my search for great deals I ran across a website called www.couponingtodisney.com.  The lady that runs the site, Kristen, had started noting how much money she was saving using coupons.  She began socking that money away for a trip to Disney for their family.  Wait...what??  I coupon.  I save money.  I could do that too!!  So, before I go any further with my narrative, you should totally save the link up there and visit her website.  (When you are done with me, because I'm still talking.) I could re-write her entire guide, but why in the world do I want to do that??  Go straight to the source, I always say!  

I will tell you what I started doing though.  For every coupon I used, every paid survey I did, every rebate I received, every cash back bonus we got, I kept a running total of how much I had "earned".  (For the record, Gary makes the money....it's my job to SAVE it.)  Each month I transferred the monthly total from checking into savings...and then we.did.not.touch.it.  We didn't use it to go out to eat, or buy a new outfit, or pay our bills with that money.  That was our vacation fund and we just pretended it wasn't there. I started saving on June 1st, 2010 and paid $3,088.14 in full on October 8, 2011. It took 17 months to save the money but it was soooooooo worth it!  I'll be honest with you too - the trip was 100 times sweeter knowing that it was paid for (with quick service dining plan - but we'll talk about that later) before we left the house, and that I had been an integral part in paying for this.  It was even sweeter when my daughters thanked their Daddy for taking them and ME for saving the money so we could go.  Sometimes nothing feels better than a job well done and a great big pat on the back!

You know what?  It honestly was not that hard.  Oh, I got really burnt out a few months ago and not only didn't want to coupon, but didn't want to even go grocery shopping!  That's when Stephanie stepped in.  For some strange reason, she LIKES to buy groceries.  So she guilted me back into clipping and she started shopping.  The great thing that happened was that she got a fabulous lesson on saving and couponing! She's great at it too!  But all in all, it was pretty simple to put a few dollars here and there away each month and just pretend it didn't exist.  Once I hit the $1,000 mark it actually started to be fun!

Ok - so now you know HOW we went to Disney.  Tomorrow I'll start with Day 1 - Travel Day -  and share our hints and tips on packing, snacks and how not to kill each other on a 8 hour road trip!  As Tigger would say TTFN!! 

Whit's Wisdom

I would never allow anyone to talk to me the way I talk to myself.

 

The least you can do is allow yourself to see your own soul as it truly is...

 

Whit's Wit

A lot of my Facebook friends are taking the month of November and updating their statuses with the things they are most thankful for.  I think it is absolutely wonderful, but seeing as how it is already the 3rd of November, I  decided to save my countdown until Dec 1st. 

And instead of telling everyone what I'm THANKFUL for I'm just going to tell everyone what I WANT!

It will last for 24 days....just so you last minute shoppers know.....

Whit's Wit

Every time my status says I'm going to be positive, make improvements or attempt to stop a bad habit, something always happens and my plans are sabotaged.  I have but one explanation:  The Devil has a Facebook and he is stalking me! 

I wonder if he has Google Plus yet?

(P.S. I had my first suspicions of his presence about a month ago - when all those FB changes were made in the middle of the night.  Surely that HAD TO BE the work of the Devil!!!)

Whit's Wit

I wonder why the Three Little Pigs didn't use cheese grits to hold their houses together?  Grits certainly CEMENT themselves to my breakfast bowl!

Whit's Wit

My Husband is retiring from Football after 10 long years of play.  "Fantasy football" that is.  I wonder what he'll do next?  Maybe open up a chain of Fantasy Car Dealerships?  Become a Fantasy Football Commentator?  Compete in Fantasy Dancing with the Stars??  

I just hope he doesn't get Fantasy Fat now.....

Whit's Wit

Family Friday!!

The first time we ever took our girls to Disney was in 1999.  Gary and I had just gotten married and, seeing as how he not only married me but got a bonus of two daughters too, we ALL went on our Honeymoon together.  Little Stephanie was almost 9, Little Sammi had just turned 4.  

If you've ever been to Disney you will know that the buses can get incredibly crowded.  We were lucky enough, though, to get some seats together one afternoon when we were headed back to the park after having eaten lunch in Downtown Disney.  Stephi had always been incredibly mature for her age and, therefore, was humiliated beyond repair when her little sister, upon noticing a smidge of ketchup around Stephi's mouth, decided to lick her fingers, walk over to her sister and proceed to give Stephi a Spit Bath!

And the crowd went wild.....

Whit's Wisdom

Sometimes It's Best to SHOW the Dirt!

This is Labor Day weekend, which we all know means wear those white shoes and shorts and pants all weekend because by Tuesday they should be packed up for the Winter!  Right?  I still wonder where this came from and why....the why being "Why do we still even think about this and pass it along to our children?"   This really has nothing to do with my wisdom today - I just sometimes get sidetracked....

Have you ever gone car shopping with someone and you set your sights on a beautiful white ____ (insert dream vehicle here)?  This phrase will inevitably pop out of your friend's mouth:  "Don't get white!  It shows dirt!"  I would honestly think that automakers would simply stop making white vehicles because of the stigma associated with the color white.  Dirt is generally a dark color - - - white is a light color....when dirt gets on white then you can see the dark stuff on the light stuff.  Duh.

The phrase that should be spoken is more like this:  "Don't get white!  You aren't going to get to be LAZY!"  Aaaah, now you see where I'm headed.

We painted my kitchen this Spring. We painted the cabinets white, put up white bead board around the entire kitchen, have a white refrigerator and stove, and I bought a white garbage can.  And dangit, it definitely shows the dirt!  But this forces me to keep it clean!  I have to wipe down the cabinets at least once a week.  The stove, ugh, 5 times a day it feels like, the baseboards and walls get a good once over at least every couple of weeks, and the refrigerator and garbage can is on a visual basis (so, yeah....everyday.)  I don't like to do this.    I don't enjoy cleaning.  But if I didn't have white, do you know how nasty that kitchen might be?  If it 'didn't show the dirt' I might never think to clean it!  

Now, you all might be thinking "ooooh, nasty" but I'm just telling the truth.  If we SEE dirt we clean it.  If something doesn't look dirty we don't think about it....or we put it off.  Out of sight - out of mind.  And dirt begats germs.  And germs begat colds and flu.  And flu  begat children staying home from school.  Do you WANT your children staying home from school????  (If you are an empty nester, just replace children with spouse.)

So go ahead -  buy that white whatever!  And enjoy it - and keep it clean - and feel free to use it AFTER Labor Day!!

This is MY dream vehicle

Whit's Wisdom

Uhm, YES you can afford a new Fall/Winter/Spring/Summer (whenever it is you are reading this) wardrobe!  I'll be honest with you, I have little sympathy for someone who whines to me about not being able to afford to dress nice for work, has gained/lost weight and can't fit into anything so they won't go out, won't attend a special event because they have nothing appropriate to wear....blah, blah, blah.  Here's what I got yesterday for $15.60: 

That is two long sleeve t-shirts, two sweaters, five dress shirts and a pair of pants.  And I did not steal them.  I went shopping at a Thrift Store. (And I was lucky enough to be there on 1/2 price day!) You know, second hand clothing?  It's all the rage.  Seriously.

Back when I was a kid my Mom always bought her work suits from, what we affectionately call them, Junk Stores.  The irony is that she worked in retail and was always being complimented on her wardrobe.  Everything she wore was Designer!  I jest a bit, but seriously, tons of her clothes were barely worn name brand items that would have cost and arm, leg and 1/2 a kidney if she would have purchased them at full price!  So I obviously grew up knowing how smart it was to purchase gently used clothing.  Of course I was a typical teenager ('GROSS, someone ELSE wore that???') and yet would borrow my friends clothing without a second thought....go figure.

Now there is a Thrift Store in every City and I guarantee there is one near you.  So don't give me the "I don't have one near me...."  And I won't listen to the  "I can't afford...." excuse, either.  I just showed you what you can buy with a couple of days lunch money.  Sorry, but I'd eat ramen breakfast, lunch and dinner for two days to buy a couple of suits to wear to a job interview to get a better paying job....or ask for a raise....or to go to my Daughter's wedding.  And here's the excuse most of you are going to fall back on (drum roll please) "I can't ever find MY SIZE".   That's because you aren't willing to look.  Thrift Stores are not department stores.  They don't have five shirts in five different sizes.  You have a giant store with thousands upon thousands of pieces of clothing, usually sorted by type (ladies t-shirts, ladies skirts, etc.) and most times even by color...but NEVER by size.  And you have to look.  And look.  And look.  But I saw everything from a size 0 to a size 28 yesterday and everything in between....and I wasn't even looking for those sizes.  I wanted some long sleeve shirts for the Fall transition and probably touched every shirt in the store.  So, yeah, it's work.  And sometimes I don't even find anything I like.  But sometimes (like yesterday) I hit pay-dirt and it's like Christmas in August!  

Here's a couple of insider tips too - only because I like you.  One, check your local stores to find out if they have discount (usually 1/2 off) days, or offer Senior Citizen discounts.  Two, find some Thrift Stores in the fancy/schmancy parts of town.  The folks in that area tend to give away more, well, fancy/schmancy clothes that haven't been worn very much.  Shop around though - make sure you aren't paying more for a second hand shirt than you would for a t-shirt at Walmart.  Some of these places price their clothes as if they don't really want to sell them, know what I mean?

Good luck and NO MORE EXCUSES!!!  I'm not listening......

Help a Girl Out!

Here's a golden opportunity - YOU do the suggesting and I will do the ever-so-hard listening (it's hard to listen with my mouth always running!!!).  

My family shares one bathroom for showering (not all at one time!).  We all have razors stored in the bathtub.  I buy whatever razor I can get on sale and have a coupon for....so there is definitely no male/female distinction between them.  I'm sure you can already see my problem - no one knows whose razor is whose.  Want to make a husband mad?  Use his razor to shave your legs.  Want to make a 20 year old scream because she just 'thinks' someone has used hers?  Yeah...it's a madhouse sometimes.

So, what do we do?  I've already tried different fingernail polish colors (rubs off) and even sharpies (no good place to color in on the black razor handles).  I've already stated I refuse to buy different colors for different people. 

Any suggestions before I use these razors to do bodily harm....on something other than my legs???

Whit's Wisdom

Customer Reward Cards driving you nuts?  I love that most stores now offer this type of loyalty goody to keep you coming back, but honestly, sometimes I just wish they'd just tattoo a bar code on my arm so I don't have to keep up with the stinking card!  I was so excited when a lot of the stores began allowing your phone number to be used as an alternative id, but there are some people out there that truly respect their privacy and refuse to give out their phone numbers.  I can't honestly disagree with that either - the less you put your personal info out there the less chance you have for identity theft.  But that's another subject for another day, so back to the cards...

I have to tell you that I absolutely hate carrying these cards on my house/car key ring.   If I drive my Husband's car to the store then I don't have my cards with me.  Plus my Husband carries the keys in his pocket.  If he were to carry around all these cards he wouldn't be able to sit down!  So I have developed two different systems to alleviate these problems.  

System 1

Such a simple idea, right?  I found a keyring floating around the house and used it to store all of my reward cards together.  This way I can keep the whole wad in my purse, throw them in the glove box (my Mother in Law calls it the "pocket") or hand it to my Husband or Daughters if they need them.  

System 2

I have to admit it...I got this adorable card case free from Victoria's Secret, and I was just dying to find a use for it!  This is a great way to store not only reward cards but gift cards too!  When I go to the mall I make sure this has any 'freebie' card I might have received in it!  Plus it's super cute and stylish and makes me feel fashionable.  Hubby doesn't generally carry this one with him, but my girls don't seem to mind.

Why do you need two such wonderful systems, you ask?  Well, that has a two-fold answer!  The first is....I have a ton of Reward Cards and System 2 can't hold them all.  The second answer?  I lost System 1 for a time and had to find all the large cards and create System 2.  {blush}  I certainly hope one (or both) of these will help you - or at least inspire you to find a system that works best for you!

Whit's Wit

You know how Hansel and Gretel left a trail of breadcrumbs to find their way home?  

MY children leave DIRTY DISHES!!

Whit's Wit

My Husband, Gary, and I have been married for 12+ years, and in those years we have done lots and lots of home repair projects together.  We work really well together, except for one tiny problem.  Gary works and rests and works and rests....I go at everything as if it is the worst possible thing in the world and I HAVE TO finish it NOW.  (And it is and I do.)  So I tend to work on things while he is resting...and thereby creating more things for him to fix. 

For example, when there was that huge metal toggle bolt screwed into the wall that he said "don't mess with that - I'll get it in a minute"....but his minute is NOT my minute.  So I just stuck a screw-driver in there and pried that sucker out ...and a large chunk of the drywall too.  Stuff like that.

We are working on a bathroom re-papering/painting project now and I told him that he would be super proud of me!  I had refrained from trying to remove the light fixture yesterday by coining a clever little phrase:  "WWGBMNTD?"  It took him a while, but he figured it out and agreed that it was a wonderful use of initialism:

What Would Gary Beg Me NOT To Do?

 At this rate I might get out of doing EVERYTHING!

Whit's Wit

I'm writing a book!!!!!   I only have the title so far, though.

It's called "Oh, The Book I Could Write If I Only Had a Nitrous Tank".

Sorry Folks!

I've had some family business to take care of these last couple of days and blogging has not been a priority.  I should be back tomorrow for FAMILY FRIDAY and hope to show you how I redid my dining chairs!

Whit's Wit

I have a mirror in my bathroom that is pretty big.  Big enough for me to see most of myself while I'm preparing to shower.  At least, I think it is me - or my Magic Mirror is a wrinkled, pudgy old woman.  Anyway, tonight I had a long talk with myself and decided enough is enough!  Tomorrow I am going to be pro-active and do something about this mess!

I'm going to have my Husband raise that damned mirror up at least 2 feet!!