Help a Girl Out!

Here's a golden opportunity - YOU do the suggesting and I will do the ever-so-hard listening (it's hard to listen with my mouth always running!!!).  

My family shares one bathroom for showering (not all at one time!).  We all have razors stored in the bathtub.  I buy whatever razor I can get on sale and have a coupon for....so there is definitely no male/female distinction between them.  I'm sure you can already see my problem - no one knows whose razor is whose.  Want to make a husband mad?  Use his razor to shave your legs.  Want to make a 20 year old scream because she just 'thinks' someone has used hers?  Yeah...it's a madhouse sometimes.

So, what do we do?  I've already tried different fingernail polish colors (rubs off) and even sharpies (no good place to color in on the black razor handles).  I've already stated I refuse to buy different colors for different people. 

Any suggestions before I use these razors to do bodily harm....on something other than my legs???

Whit's Wisdom

Customer Reward Cards driving you nuts?  I love that most stores now offer this type of loyalty goody to keep you coming back, but honestly, sometimes I just wish they'd just tattoo a bar code on my arm so I don't have to keep up with the stinking card!  I was so excited when a lot of the stores began allowing your phone number to be used as an alternative id, but there are some people out there that truly respect their privacy and refuse to give out their phone numbers.  I can't honestly disagree with that either - the less you put your personal info out there the less chance you have for identity theft.  But that's another subject for another day, so back to the cards...

I have to tell you that I absolutely hate carrying these cards on my house/car key ring.   If I drive my Husband's car to the store then I don't have my cards with me.  Plus my Husband carries the keys in his pocket.  If he were to carry around all these cards he wouldn't be able to sit down!  So I have developed two different systems to alleviate these problems.  

System 1

Such a simple idea, right?  I found a keyring floating around the house and used it to store all of my reward cards together.  This way I can keep the whole wad in my purse, throw them in the glove box (my Mother in Law calls it the "pocket") or hand it to my Husband or Daughters if they need them.  

System 2

I have to admit it...I got this adorable card case free from Victoria's Secret, and I was just dying to find a use for it!  This is a great way to store not only reward cards but gift cards too!  When I go to the mall I make sure this has any 'freebie' card I might have received in it!  Plus it's super cute and stylish and makes me feel fashionable.  Hubby doesn't generally carry this one with him, but my girls don't seem to mind.

Why do you need two such wonderful systems, you ask?  Well, that has a two-fold answer!  The first is....I have a ton of Reward Cards and System 2 can't hold them all.  The second answer?  I lost System 1 for a time and had to find all the large cards and create System 2.  {blush}  I certainly hope one (or both) of these will help you - or at least inspire you to find a system that works best for you!

Whit's Wit

You know how Hansel and Gretel left a trail of breadcrumbs to find their way home?  

MY children leave DIRTY DISHES!!

Whit's Wit

My Husband, Gary, and I have been married for 12+ years, and in those years we have done lots and lots of home repair projects together.  We work really well together, except for one tiny problem.  Gary works and rests and works and rests....I go at everything as if it is the worst possible thing in the world and I HAVE TO finish it NOW.  (And it is and I do.)  So I tend to work on things while he is resting...and thereby creating more things for him to fix. 

For example, when there was that huge metal toggle bolt screwed into the wall that he said "don't mess with that - I'll get it in a minute"....but his minute is NOT my minute.  So I just stuck a screw-driver in there and pried that sucker out ...and a large chunk of the drywall too.  Stuff like that.

We are working on a bathroom re-papering/painting project now and I told him that he would be super proud of me!  I had refrained from trying to remove the light fixture yesterday by coining a clever little phrase:  "WWGBMNTD?"  It took him a while, but he figured it out and agreed that it was a wonderful use of initialism:

What Would Gary Beg Me NOT To Do?

 At this rate I might get out of doing EVERYTHING!

Whit's Wit

I'm writing a book!!!!!   I only have the title so far, though.

It's called "Oh, The Book I Could Write If I Only Had a Nitrous Tank".

Sorry Folks!

I've had some family business to take care of these last couple of days and blogging has not been a priority.  I should be back tomorrow for FAMILY FRIDAY and hope to show you how I redid my dining chairs!

Whit's Wit

I have a mirror in my bathroom that is pretty big.  Big enough for me to see most of myself while I'm preparing to shower.  At least, I think it is me - or my Magic Mirror is a wrinkled, pudgy old woman.  Anyway, tonight I had a long talk with myself and decided enough is enough!  Tomorrow I am going to be pro-active and do something about this mess!

I'm going to have my Husband raise that damned mirror up at least 2 feet!!

Whit's Wisdom

I've been really blogged down today (blogged - get it?  ha?) and didn't even really think about what I was going to talk about tonight.  I did, however, make some amazing meat pies out of a little of this and a lot of that, so since they were so successful I think I will share my recipe tonight!

Alrighty, to begin with, if you are an awesome cook or someone who has to completely follow a recipe, you might as well stop reading.  This is in no way a real recipe from a real cook.  When I said above "a little of this..." I meant it!  I had some ground pork that I had to do something with and I just started playing.  Somehow it turned out yummy.  Hopefully I will be able to replicate it.  So if you try this - and it stinks - uhm, I warned you.

Ingredients:

1. Approx. 1 1/2 lbs. ground or chopped meat - I used fresh chopped pork (chopped in my food processor) because I had tons of it leftover from a smoked roast and chops.  I am thinking that ground beef or turkey would work really well too.  Make sure the meat is already cooked!!
2. 1  large can of french onion soup  - drained - but reserve the stock.
3. 2-3.7 fl oz of jalapenos - finely chopped
4. cumin
5. 1 clove of minced garlic
6. garlic salt to taste
7. a little salt, a lot of pepper
8. Panko bread crumbs (usually found in the Asian section at your grocery store)
9. Egg Roll Wrappers (I found these in the health food section)  * if you don't want to use these you can use a pie crust cut into squares and just improvise.  This would be more fattening, but probably pretty good!!

So, I drained the onions from the soup and put the onions, chopped jalapenos and minced garlic in a large non-stick pan and basically just heated them up on a medium heat for a few minutes to blend the flavors.  I then added my ground pork and mixed well.  Lower the heat to just a simmer, and  add  in just enough onion soup to moisten the meat - not swimming in it.  Then I added a good bit of cumin.  See, cumin is a hard spice (?) to use in my opinion.  Too little and you don't taste it - too much and it smells like feet.  So I did a LOT of adding and tasting, adding and tasting.  If you want to play it safe, you could add just a packet of taco seasoning instead of the cumin....  but you decide.  Anyway, add in the seasoning and some garlic salt, salt and pepper to taste. 

Once you have the flavors the way you enjoy them (add in some extra jalapenos if you like super spicy!) put in 1/2 cup of Panko bread crumbs and the mixture into your food processor.  Turn it on and let it spin for 30 seconds or so.  It is basically making this concoction into a paste - a meat paste.  Sounds gross - tastes yummy!

Follow the directions on the back of the Egg Roll Wrapper for rolling egg rolls.  Basically, you spray a cookie sheet with cooking spray, lay a wrapper on it, put 2 tbs of meat product in the center, and fold similar to a diaper...then roll it up!  I never knew it was so easy!

Bake as directed on the wrapper package.  I think mine was 400 for 10-12 mins.  I wanted mine crunchy on both sides so I rolled them over and put them on the bottom rack for about 4 more minutes.  Gotta keep an eye on them though!

Are you totally lost now?  I sure hope not because these are really tasty treats.  So good, in fact, that my Daughter's boyfriend wants me to add it to our New Years Eve Menu.  I call that making it to the big league!!

Whit's Wisdom

Check, check and RE-Check!!

I spent the day thrift store shopping with my Mom and my Daughters (plus a bonus Daughter!).  I had a fantastic day!  We laughed, we shopped, we got awesome stuff for next to nothing PLUS discounts on some of it.  It was seriously a perfect way to spend the day.

...and then I got home.  After unloading all of our great loot and divvying up between us, I realized I was missing 3 items - all of them belonging to my youngest Daughter, Sammi.  We searched the car, I called my Mom and she searched her bags, I called the store to see if they had it there (nope), I searched the car again...the items just aren't there.  Keep in mind we were thrift store shopping.  The missing merchandise only totaled $8.  And with the additional discounts we received I'm really only out about $3.  

But here's the thing.  At one time, not too awful long ago, minus $3 might have meant I didn't have lunch money for my kids.  $3 doesn't make or break us now, but at one time it did.  So I have a hard time 'letting go' of that money.  I think it is important to remember the past mistakes so you can avoid them in the future.

So....here's how I plan to "let go - but remember" this mistake:  I'm going to remember to check my bags and my receipts WHEREVER I shop BEFORE I leave the parking lot.  It's that simple.  I will get to my vehicle, get inside with my purchases (lock the door - safety first!), and check my receipt against my purchases.  People make mistakes - computers make mistakes - and since it is ultimately MY responsibility to make sure I get the items I purchased at the price I agreed to pay, then I am going to stop making my own silly mistakes.

I have to admit that while I am typing this I am thinking "yeah - sure you will check every single item you purchase at the GROCERY STORE...liar".  But while I'm purchasing groceries I am more watchful at the register because of coupons, and because the bagging process is much more streamlined there than at regular stores.  But I do vow to check my buggy (grocery cart) more carefully to guarantee I don't leave something in the bottom and to be very a vigilant watcher during the checkout process.

Look - it's OUR money - If I'm going to give it away I'd like to know who I'm giving it to, right??  Head my advice friends; you don't want to walk in my Daughter's shoes - which is one of the missing items - do you?

Whit's Wit

A friend of mine and her husband purchased a Harley yesterday as their joint Anniversary present.  She and I were chatting (via Facebook) and I told her that I thought it was wonderful they both enjoyed riding, but I was such a chicken that Gary and I would have to agree to invest in a beach house or something if we were going to share an Anniversary gift.  

She responded like this:  "Thank you Whitney...the way I look at it...if it is our time to go...it is our time to go....why not enjoy life while we can."

My reply?    "Well, I want to go out screaming, but in a FUN way (wink wink) not a TERRIFIED way!!!"

I hope you all have a fun exit plan!

Sunday Preview

Log in to Whit's Words next week to see how this chair:

Became THIS chair:

I'll give you step by step directions on how to and all the hints and tips on how not mess up the same way I did!!

Whit's Wit

 FAMILY FRIDAY!!!

I know you won't believe this, but I swear all the girls in this family exited the womb talking.  Not gurgling, baby-talk....full fledged conversations.  So it was really no surprise when my Niece, Casey,  who probably wasn't even walking yet, could converse with my Mom and I on our random shopping trips.  However, I was not aware how good of a listener and observer she was until that fateful day....(insert memory music here)

We were in the parking lot of a Mall in our small little town.  It had been a long time coming and people were very excited about the Grand Opening.  Needless to say, the parking lot was packed.  Now, I'm from the south, where their are lots of pickup trucks and cowboy hats.  One man matching said description pulled his truck out in front of me without even a good ole' tip of his hat in apology.  Well, I might have said something like "Woah!!  Wait a minute Bubba!  Not so fast!!"

We finally parked the car and headed up with all the other hundreds of folks to the entrance.  I'm carrying my little Niece Casey when suddenly taps me on my shoulder, points her little arm out wide and says in a big, clear voice "Look, Aunt Whitney, there's Bubba!!!  Right there - it's Bubba - in the boots!!!  You know, Bubba with the Truck!!"

She was right. 

I hope to teach HER little boy a few select words of my own someday.

Whit's Wisdom

I cannot tell a lie....I did not make what I am about to show you.  Instead, I paid $1.00 for it at the Atlanta Gift Mart where someone had whipped it up in a panic when she realized she didn't have a cake plate to place her Customer Appreciation cake.  Oh to be so clever and level headed in a crisis!

This is my cake plate.  Nice, average sized, classic pedestal style cake plate.

and THIS is how my cake plate is made - a decorative, plastic plate and a bowl hot glued together!

I really think this is just such a quick and inexpensive way to fancy-up your parties.  Not only can these be used as cake plates, but you can use different sized plates for your tablescapes, for displaying centerpieces, etc.  If I ever have the occasion, I plan on using mismatched tea cups and saucers in this manner to serve cupcakes.  You can purchase plates and bowls so inexpensively at thrift shops, yards sales and on clearance racks.  You could easily make special holiday-themed ones for every season.

However, the BEST way to display these cake plates is like this:

With something yummy and chocolate on them!!!! 

(cookies compliments of Samantha).

Whit's Wisdom

Never ever, ever, ever admit that you find David Spade "kind of attractive".  You will never live it down.

Whit's Wit

My 16 year old Daughter, Samantha, came into my room this morning and said "You know that phrase 'You are the love of my life?'"  and I answered "Yes?" and her dialogue continued something like this:

"...that's really stupid, isn't it?  I mean, shouldn't it be 'you are the love of my life...so far?'  You have a 20 year old, whose been in a relationship for maybe two years, and he says 'you are the love of my life'....big deal!  You're only 20 years old....you haven't had a life!   I mean, if you've been married 25 years you might be able to say 'I really think you are going to be the love of my life and I'll let you know.'   It's like saying 'you are the best girlfriend I have ever had!'  Well, of course I am - all the others broke up with you or you didn't like them...how is that a compliment?  You are the best girlfriend I've ever had....that hasn't dumped me yet."

And people think teenagers are stupid.  This one is smarter than most adults I know.

Whit's Wit

To understand this story you are going to have to read an old joke first:

A poor young man, having lost his eye in a horrible accident, was fitted with a prosthetic eye made of wood.  He was very depressed, feeling that he was so unattractive now that no woman would ever want to be with him.  In an attempt to cheer him up, a few of his friends invited him to a dance.  Once there, the young man noticed a young woman sitting by herself in the corner.  Since she was alone, he thought he might try to talk to her.  His friends thought it was a great idea, but warned him that she had just had cosmetic surgery to repair a hairlip condition, and although it was barely noticeable, she was extremely self conscious about it.  The young man was so happy to find someone who might understand his plight as well, that he boldly approached the young lady and asked if she would like to dance.  The girl was so happy to have been asked to dance by such a handsome man that she exclaimed "Would I? Would I?"  

His reply?  "HAIRLIP! HAIRLIP!!"

Ok, that is one of my all time favorite jokes and I have probably shared it with everyone I have ever met.  Having said that, let's jump over to a day in my office where I worked for a gentleman named Richard....who went by the nickname Dick.  One day a co-worker came into the office asking if I knew where some files had been moved...I said I had no idea.  Hearing the question, one of the other ladies yelled over the cubicle "Dick knows - Dick knows!" 

The reply?  "HAIRLIP! HAIRLIP!"

Whit's Wisdom

So I keep saying that I don't sew - but I sure have been sewing a lot lately!  I guess I should just start saying I don't sew well!  Anyway, it didn't seem to stop my Daughter from asking me to stitch together a chair skirt for her vanity stool.

She is definitely my child...when she gets an idea in her head she wants it NOW and she wants it FREE.  So after she had spray painted her old vanity and stool a beautiful, bright white she realized the dingy beige cushion was going to drive her crazy.  She searched through our stash of stuff and found four lovely cloth napkins that I had purchased (on sale, of course) to use in my kitchen, but for some reason they never really got used.  Stephanie simply fell in love with the pattern and was going to use them to cover the stool.  Unfortunately, the stool was just a bit too big.  Sewing two of them together would have put a giant seam down the middle of the cushion.  What to do, what to do??

Little Sister to the rescue!!  Samantha, my youngest, suggested making a skirt instead of covering the chair!  She even figured out that we really only needed three napkins for the skirt and the fourth could be used on the vanity itself.  We cut two napkins in half, sewing a half napkin onto the edges of the full napkin...like this:

Then all she had to do is drape it over the cushion:

How clever was that?!?!  These napkins had already beautiful white zig-zag border around it, so my lousy sewing skills don't even really show up!  For someone who sews on a regular basis, this would have probably taken about 15 minutes to complete.  Since I always like to teach my kids how NOT to do something, it took me at least (at least!!) and hour.

Now and Free?  SUCCESS on both!!

Whit's Wit

Parents who get excited when summer vacation is over so the kids will go back to school obviously believe that children should get out of bed before 2 pm,  play outside, read books and make a valuable contribution to the Family unit.  

I think those parents need to buy a corkscrew and learn how to use it. 

Whit's Wisdom

I mentioned yesterday that I learned a LOT last week while my Mom was sick in the hospital.  Well, today I want to talk about an absolutely precious X-Ray Technician that, for some reason, seemed to feel confident in confiding some of her personal life to my Mom and I.  Now, I won't begin to tell you her entire story because that would be wrong - but I will give you a brief overview so that we can get to the 'wisdom' portion of this writing.

Seems that Madame X (ha, get it?) had a wonderful life going on.  She was divorced, but had a beautiful,  healthy daughter and a secure job.  She also had a long-distance boyfriend and another guy she was interested in here in town (nothing serious with either).  And she was absolutely worrying herself to death about these two fellas.  Could she let herself get involved with someone ever again, should she tell the guy away about the guy here, was she doing the right thing with either of them....blah, blah, blah!  Like I said, she was just one of the most effervescent people I have ever met.  I simply could not believe she was putting herself through such inner turmoil.  Once she finally took a big long breathe, I asked "So....why are you in such a hurry?  Are you happy with your life?  Are things good just the way they are right now?"  and she answered "oh, yes - I love my life now!"

So do you get where I'm headed here?  This lovely woman, with a very happy life, with lots of fun going on was basically RUNNING towards her goal - and she didn't even have one.   Humans tend to set time frames on everything we do.  I've been engaged three times in my life.  The first - we were in love but too young; the third - we were in love and after a few years and the right timing it just worked out wonderfully.  But the second time I, too, was running towards ....???  I don't even know to this day where I was running.  But I simply HAD to get there - and I guess I thought marriage was my magic carpet.  Needless to say - it wasn't. I thought I had to be married, to have children, to have a home, to have....what?  And when all that was finally achieved, that's all we really had - a giant question mark - where do we go from here??

My current (and forever) Husband and I met through work and weren't allowed to date.  Which, of course, made us want to date.  But we had zero plans for a future with each other.  He lived in a different state, but visited Georgia a few times a year (family and business).  As I liked to say back then "he was my Boy Toy" - he was going to be someone to go to dinner with - go to Braves games with when he was in town - someone to boost my ego and that was it.  I didn't look to the future or wonder if he was going to be there tomorrow, because I simply didn't expect him to be.   And I truly believe that since we weren't running to whatever we thought we should be looking for, we found exactly what we needed.

I tried, and hopefully succeeded, to convince Madame X that she simply did not need to do ANYTHING.  Since she wasn't sexually active with either man she didn't have a moral obligation to tell each of them about the other.  No one was expressing love yet, so she didn't have the guilt of leading anyone on.  She could simply sit back and enjoy the fun and excitement and companionship and leave the future to the future!

Yes, I have dealt mainly with the love-relationship angle of this "hurry, hurry, hurry life" topic, but you can apply it to every aspect of your life.  Just graduated from college and expect to get your perfect job making 6 digits already?  Think again.  Got yourself in debt and want to take out more loans to 'hurry up' and get back on your feet?  Not smart and it's not going to happen quickly.  Knocking on 30's door and think you absolutely have to have a baby now?  40 is the new 30 and adoption is always a fantastic alternative as well.  Don't rush your life along just because you think you will be happier or more satisfied if you do.  Take a look at how satisfied you are RIGHT NOW....sometimes you really don't want or need to change a thing!!

Whit's Wit

If you aren't a denture wearer you probably aren't aware that, if you have any type of surgery or receive any sort of anesthesia, you must remove your dentures.  I'm not sure why, but I'd imagine it has something to do with choking.  And, as bad as the idea of choking sounds to most of us, denture wearers usually would rather risk that than to remove their dentures in front of strangers!

This being the case of a Co-worker of mine, she made her Sister swear on the Bible that her teeth would go back into her mouth just as soon as she was back in the hospital room after her hysterectomy.  The Sister, Margaret, was as flighty as a hummingbird and was always screwing up, so my friend, Diane, was never confident that she would actually follow through with her promise.  On the other hand, Margaret, having such a negligent reputation, was determined to prove her older Sister wrong!  They agreed the dentures would be in the bedside table and Margaret would be waiting in the hospital to be sure to put them in Diane's mouth before anyone had a chance to visit her.

Well, the surgery went fine, and as they were rolling Diane back into her room, she saw her sister reach into the nightstand.  Diane, groggy from the anesthesia says "i mi mou".  Margaret, in a panic, said "I know - I know - I'll find them!!" and ran to another table in the room.  Diane, still groggy, repeated "i mi mou!"  With tears streaming down Margaret's face, she yanks the clothes out of the closet and starts searching frantically.  Diane finally sits up in bed - grabs her sister by her shirt, opens her mouth and points inside "IN Mi MOUFF!!"

The teeth had been in there the whole time.  Gotta love Nurses!

Whit's Wisdom

I've been on a blog sabbatical the last two weeks.  The first was due to my "Stay-cation" in which we stayed home and did some work around the house, did a little bit of fun stuff, and I basically refused to do any sort of housework.  The second week consisted of sitting in a hospital room with my Mom for seven days while the Doctors tried to figure out what exactly was causing her to be in such pain.  The final diagnosis was Salmonella - source unknown.  She is home now and feeling about 85% well and we are both planning on NEVER going back to the hospital again!  Honestly, we received wonderful care and are very grateful to the Doctors and Hospital Staff, but it was NOT Disney World!

During Mom's stay at the hospital we spoke with a number of different people on a variety of subjects.  It's just what people do when they are waiting or helping each other.  You talk.  You share stories.  You discuss things you might not even discuss with a friend or neighbor.  You give advice.  You take advice.  You get to know each other.  Had my Mother not been so sick and in so much pain, we honestly would have had a really nice time.  I will be blogging about some of the things we discussed over the week, but let me start with the one I find most important.

It's amazing what an affect you can have on someone by just taking a few minutes to ask them something about themselves.  My Mom, even on her worst days, made it a point to ask everyone who entered her room something about their personal life.  Not SUPER personal - just a friendly "how are you today?" or "do you have any children?" or "how was your off day yesterday?".  And then she waited for their answer....and listened....and remembered.  So when the lady with three children came in two days later, she mentioned those children in conversation.  Mom laughed with the fella who came to check her IV - and he felt comfortable enough to walk back in  to share something funny he had read on her chart.  She (and I) gave the cleaning lady advice about how to monitor her daughter's cell phone time.  We talked the X-ray Technician into relaxing about life and just enjoy dating.  My Mom and Daddy showed compassion to the Nurse who sprained her ankle and went out of their way to keep her from walking on it. 

Mom had one Nurse who gave us the impression she might be hard to get along with.  She wasn't one to chat, she didn't seem to have much compassion, and just basically rubbed us the wrong way.  But instead of complaining, Mom and I 'niced' her to death.  We thanked her for everything she did, we were patient, we were kind, we were understanding...and she turned out to be one of the best Nurses we had!  She was just not a talkative person - she even said her Husband talked for the both of them.  Instead of just writing her off as a 'bad Nurse' we made an effort to find the good...and we found it!  She was just different from the norm.

I guess my ramblings here are to remind you all to that a little kindness and attention can go a long way.  My Mom did not feel good at all - I was a worried mess -so in all fairness, no one would have blamed either of us if we had been demanding and rude.  But my Mom set a wonderful example which I followed.  In all her pain she took time to be nice to those who were looking after her and, in doing so, she was given superb care and treated with respect.  Before we left two of the Staff came into her room to hug her and thank her for being so wonderful.  She demonstrated, by actions and words, that she appreciated all their hard work.

Next time you are faced with a choice of Kindness or Rudeness - why don't you take the road less traveled?  It can make all the difference....