Whit's Wisdom

Don't Hate - Educate!

Did you know you are supposed to floss your teeth BEFORE you brush them?  Seriously.  I've had teeth for how long?  How did I not know this?

My job is done.  Now go out there and save some teeth!!

Whit's Wisdom Disney 2011 Blog Special

Day 1 - Travel Day

I hope you enjoyed my family history yesterday and are ready to travel!

We normally travel early in the morning (ok, we PLAN on leaving early in the morning, but it's usually no earlier than 10 a.m.), but school constraints on Steph pushed us to an afternoon departure.  Since we knew this before we booked our reservations, we decided to drive most of the way to Disney on Tuesday, spend the night in Gainesville, FL, and drive the remaining 2 hours in the morning.  (Which provides me with a nice segue into my tips section!)

Tip #1 - Hotels.com

Use it!  I have booked two hotel rooms recently and I have gotten exceptional deals on each and they were both very nice, clean rooms.  It is so much cheaper, and easier, to book online ahead of time instead of being tired and grumpy and trying to find a decent hotel once you are worn out.  We have done it both ways before, and, well, let's just say Gary didn't end up sleeping in a window seat THIS trip.  If you are a super saver, create an account on Ebates.com and then link through them to Hotels.com to receive a cash back rebate!  http://www.ebates.com/index.htm, http://www.hotels.com/  (and if they ask who referred you, please say me!)

Tip #2 - Eat a good breakfast (or lunch or dinner) BEFORE you leave your home.  Gary cooked us some bacon and big, fat, yummy cinnamon rolls about an hour before departure.  (And with it being vacation food, it didn't matter how many calories - right??).  One of my biggest pet peeves is getting 20 minutes from the house and having to stop to eat.  Not only is it money wasteful, but it wastes time too!  I don't love the car ride - don't make it last longer than it has to be!  So make sure your bellies are good and full before you leave.

Tip #3 - Bring along a cooler of drinks and a bag of snacks.  Why, yes, I DID just say my belly was full, but it's VACATION...and you are traveling....in a car.  MUNCHIES - duh.  You'll save so much money bringing your own instead of stopping at a convenience store.  So.MUCH.Money.

(sssshhhh.....hidden tip #1 -  if worse comes to absolute worse, you can always use the cooler to, uhm, empty your bladder when there isn't a bathroom in sight for the next 100 miles.  It happens to the best of us.  I line my cooler with a large plastic garbage bag.  That way you aren't actually 'relieving' in the cooler - but in a garbage bag.)

Tip #4 - If you have a traveler who can't seem to pass a bathroom without having to stop and check it out, check this out - Uricalm. http://www.everydayhealth.com/drugs/uricalm.  By all means, READ THE LABEL and if this is something you think isn't for you - don't try it.  But I am here to tell you - it keeps the urges at bay!  It also turns your urine bright orange and can stain the toilet if you don't flush quickly...just so you know.

Tip #5 - Movies, movies, movies!  I don't know who came up with the idea of those little tv's in vehicles, but they were geniuses!!  We actually just use my laptop now to watch dvd's (Disney movies - what else???) but back in 1999, Gary actually bought a small tv, an outlet adapter, and a vhs and shoved them all between the front seats of his Jeep!  Kept two little ones quiet for hours.  What is an added bonus is that the driver (in our case, Gary) has something to listen to also.

Tip #6 - Trivial Pursuit cards.  The last time I went to the Thrift Store I noticed they had tons and tons of old Trivial Pursuit games that people had given away.  I bought one and we take a packet of cards (there's like a bazillion questions in one pack) with us when we travel long distances.  It's really quite entertaining, and, heck yes, even a bit educational.

Tip #7 - Regardless of whether your Uricalm is working or not, take a couple of breaks from riding and stretch your legs.  The driver gets tired -  regardless of  his He-Man status the fact that he can sit for hours and hours and hours at the computer playing a game.  It's good for your mind to focus on something other than the road for a few minutes.

Tip #8 - I probably should have mentioned this earlier, but since you haven't left on vacation yet, you still have time to heed my advice.  If you are splitting your trip up like we did, pack a 'take in the hotel for the night only' suitcase, which will contain ONLY what you need for that one night.  Everyone packs jammies, the next days clothes, toiletries (and not all of them - only what you absolutely need), into one suitcase....and then place that suitcase on top of all the other suitcases.  Believe me, when you are tired and just want to get some sleep, grabbing that one bag is going to make you sing my praises for weeks!  (But actually Steph came up with this idea - so sing about her a little too.)

(ssshhhhh - hidden tip #2 -  Pack a couple of garbage bags for dirty clothes.  But keep socks and undies separate from all other clothing.  Why??  Well, if you need to re-wear blue jeans - eh, no big.  If you need to re-wear blue jeans and your Dad's undies have been laying next to them for a week....gross.)

Tip #8 - (again, probably should have mentioned this earlier) - but try to limit your trip to "bearable".  Don't drive until the wee hours of the morning and expect to wake up refreshed and ready to tackle DISNEY.  You are going to want to check in and hit the parks as soon as you can.  Don't waste that time - and money - being tired and grumpy.  Eat a good dinner and get a decent night's sleep so you are ready to seize the day!

And who else always seizes the day?  Why, that'd be Winnie the Pooh!  So let's finish with words of wisdom - courtesy of Edward  Bear.  

“It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?"”

Whit's Wisdom Disney 2011 Blog Special

Hi-Ho All!!!  I have definitely been MIA these last few months but I sure hope to get back in the blogging groove and start sharing all the little tidbits I pick up in this Wonderful World of Whitdom.  My Family and I just got back from a fabulous vacation in Walt Disney World, Florida.  The whole time we were there I kept running across things that I just knew I had to share with my readers....mainly because I love to talk (type?) a lot!  So here we go - off to Neverland!!!

Disney Vacation - The Back Story

I figured the easiest way to share our hints and tips was to take it day by day....we'll see how this goes.  But before I can begin, I have to give you the Reader's Digest version of US.  We are a family of 4.  A Husband, a Wife, a 21 year old Daughter (who celebrated her 'birthday week' in Disney) and a 16 year old Daughter.  We are also known as Gary, Whitney, Stephanie and Samantha.  (You'll probably hear a lot about us in the next few days.)  Gary and I were married on June 15, 1999 and he was fortunate enough to not only marry me, but my two girls as well.  We spent our Honeymoon - ALL OF US - in Disney.  It was the beginning of a wonderful relationship!  Not just our love for each other but our love for Disney!!!  

We have traveled back 3 times since (including this trip) and always swear we are going back every year.  Of course, we said that back in 1999 and, because of money restraints, it obviously did not happen.  But we are older and wiser now.  Wiser because the first year we paid for everything using a credit card...and probably spent the next two years paying it off.  We don't do things that way anymore!  Older because our kids - who aren't kids anymore - understand that if we want to go on vacation then we have to make sacrifices throughout the year to pay for it.  If we go on vacation it is PAID IN FULL --- money in the bank to cover all charges -- before we pull out of the driveway.  It saves a ton of money, a ton of worry and a ton on wrinkle cream!! (Worry = wrinkles; wrinkles=wrinkle cream!!)

I'm pretty big into couponing (not extreme - please don't put me with those crazies!) - and one day in my search for great deals I ran across a website called www.couponingtodisney.com.  The lady that runs the site, Kristen, had started noting how much money she was saving using coupons.  She began socking that money away for a trip to Disney for their family.  Wait...what??  I coupon.  I save money.  I could do that too!!  So, before I go any further with my narrative, you should totally save the link up there and visit her website.  (When you are done with me, because I'm still talking.) I could re-write her entire guide, but why in the world do I want to do that??  Go straight to the source, I always say!  

I will tell you what I started doing though.  For every coupon I used, every paid survey I did, every rebate I received, every cash back bonus we got, I kept a running total of how much I had "earned".  (For the record, Gary makes the money....it's my job to SAVE it.)  Each month I transferred the monthly total from checking into savings...and then we.did.not.touch.it.  We didn't use it to go out to eat, or buy a new outfit, or pay our bills with that money.  That was our vacation fund and we just pretended it wasn't there. I started saving on June 1st, 2010 and paid $3,088.14 in full on October 8, 2011. It took 17 months to save the money but it was soooooooo worth it!  I'll be honest with you too - the trip was 100 times sweeter knowing that it was paid for (with quick service dining plan - but we'll talk about that later) before we left the house, and that I had been an integral part in paying for this.  It was even sweeter when my daughters thanked their Daddy for taking them and ME for saving the money so we could go.  Sometimes nothing feels better than a job well done and a great big pat on the back!

You know what?  It honestly was not that hard.  Oh, I got really burnt out a few months ago and not only didn't want to coupon, but didn't want to even go grocery shopping!  That's when Stephanie stepped in.  For some strange reason, she LIKES to buy groceries.  So she guilted me back into clipping and she started shopping.  The great thing that happened was that she got a fabulous lesson on saving and couponing! She's great at it too!  But all in all, it was pretty simple to put a few dollars here and there away each month and just pretend it didn't exist.  Once I hit the $1,000 mark it actually started to be fun!

Ok - so now you know HOW we went to Disney.  Tomorrow I'll start with Day 1 - Travel Day -  and share our hints and tips on packing, snacks and how not to kill each other on a 8 hour road trip!  As Tigger would say TTFN!! 

Whit's Wisdom

I would never allow anyone to talk to me the way I talk to myself.

 

The least you can do is allow yourself to see your own soul as it truly is...

 

Whit's Wit

A lot of my Facebook friends are taking the month of November and updating their statuses with the things they are most thankful for.  I think it is absolutely wonderful, but seeing as how it is already the 3rd of November, I  decided to save my countdown until Dec 1st. 

And instead of telling everyone what I'm THANKFUL for I'm just going to tell everyone what I WANT!

It will last for 24 days....just so you last minute shoppers know.....

Whit's Wit

Every time my status says I'm going to be positive, make improvements or attempt to stop a bad habit, something always happens and my plans are sabotaged.  I have but one explanation:  The Devil has a Facebook and he is stalking me! 

I wonder if he has Google Plus yet?

(P.S. I had my first suspicions of his presence about a month ago - when all those FB changes were made in the middle of the night.  Surely that HAD TO BE the work of the Devil!!!)

Whit's Wit

I wonder why the Three Little Pigs didn't use cheese grits to hold their houses together?  Grits certainly CEMENT themselves to my breakfast bowl!

Whit's Wit

My Husband is retiring from Football after 10 long years of play.  "Fantasy football" that is.  I wonder what he'll do next?  Maybe open up a chain of Fantasy Car Dealerships?  Become a Fantasy Football Commentator?  Compete in Fantasy Dancing with the Stars??  

I just hope he doesn't get Fantasy Fat now.....

Whit's Wit

Family Friday!!

The first time we ever took our girls to Disney was in 1999.  Gary and I had just gotten married and, seeing as how he not only married me but got a bonus of two daughters too, we ALL went on our Honeymoon together.  Little Stephanie was almost 9, Little Sammi had just turned 4.  

If you've ever been to Disney you will know that the buses can get incredibly crowded.  We were lucky enough, though, to get some seats together one afternoon when we were headed back to the park after having eaten lunch in Downtown Disney.  Stephi had always been incredibly mature for her age and, therefore, was humiliated beyond repair when her little sister, upon noticing a smidge of ketchup around Stephi's mouth, decided to lick her fingers, walk over to her sister and proceed to give Stephi a Spit Bath!

And the crowd went wild.....

Whit's Wisdom

Sometimes It's Best to SHOW the Dirt!

This is Labor Day weekend, which we all know means wear those white shoes and shorts and pants all weekend because by Tuesday they should be packed up for the Winter!  Right?  I still wonder where this came from and why....the why being "Why do we still even think about this and pass it along to our children?"   This really has nothing to do with my wisdom today - I just sometimes get sidetracked....

Have you ever gone car shopping with someone and you set your sights on a beautiful white ____ (insert dream vehicle here)?  This phrase will inevitably pop out of your friend's mouth:  "Don't get white!  It shows dirt!"  I would honestly think that automakers would simply stop making white vehicles because of the stigma associated with the color white.  Dirt is generally a dark color - - - white is a light color....when dirt gets on white then you can see the dark stuff on the light stuff.  Duh.

The phrase that should be spoken is more like this:  "Don't get white!  You aren't going to get to be LAZY!"  Aaaah, now you see where I'm headed.

We painted my kitchen this Spring. We painted the cabinets white, put up white bead board around the entire kitchen, have a white refrigerator and stove, and I bought a white garbage can.  And dangit, it definitely shows the dirt!  But this forces me to keep it clean!  I have to wipe down the cabinets at least once a week.  The stove, ugh, 5 times a day it feels like, the baseboards and walls get a good once over at least every couple of weeks, and the refrigerator and garbage can is on a visual basis (so, yeah....everyday.)  I don't like to do this.    I don't enjoy cleaning.  But if I didn't have white, do you know how nasty that kitchen might be?  If it 'didn't show the dirt' I might never think to clean it!  

Now, you all might be thinking "ooooh, nasty" but I'm just telling the truth.  If we SEE dirt we clean it.  If something doesn't look dirty we don't think about it....or we put it off.  Out of sight - out of mind.  And dirt begats germs.  And germs begat colds and flu.  And flu  begat children staying home from school.  Do you WANT your children staying home from school????  (If you are an empty nester, just replace children with spouse.)

So go ahead -  buy that white whatever!  And enjoy it - and keep it clean - and feel free to use it AFTER Labor Day!!

This is MY dream vehicle

Whit's Wisdom

Uhm, YES you can afford a new Fall/Winter/Spring/Summer (whenever it is you are reading this) wardrobe!  I'll be honest with you, I have little sympathy for someone who whines to me about not being able to afford to dress nice for work, has gained/lost weight and can't fit into anything so they won't go out, won't attend a special event because they have nothing appropriate to wear....blah, blah, blah.  Here's what I got yesterday for $15.60: 

That is two long sleeve t-shirts, two sweaters, five dress shirts and a pair of pants.  And I did not steal them.  I went shopping at a Thrift Store. (And I was lucky enough to be there on 1/2 price day!) You know, second hand clothing?  It's all the rage.  Seriously.

Back when I was a kid my Mom always bought her work suits from, what we affectionately call them, Junk Stores.  The irony is that she worked in retail and was always being complimented on her wardrobe.  Everything she wore was Designer!  I jest a bit, but seriously, tons of her clothes were barely worn name brand items that would have cost and arm, leg and 1/2 a kidney if she would have purchased them at full price!  So I obviously grew up knowing how smart it was to purchase gently used clothing.  Of course I was a typical teenager ('GROSS, someone ELSE wore that???') and yet would borrow my friends clothing without a second thought....go figure.

Now there is a Thrift Store in every City and I guarantee there is one near you.  So don't give me the "I don't have one near me...."  And I won't listen to the  "I can't afford...." excuse, either.  I just showed you what you can buy with a couple of days lunch money.  Sorry, but I'd eat ramen breakfast, lunch and dinner for two days to buy a couple of suits to wear to a job interview to get a better paying job....or ask for a raise....or to go to my Daughter's wedding.  And here's the excuse most of you are going to fall back on (drum roll please) "I can't ever find MY SIZE".   That's because you aren't willing to look.  Thrift Stores are not department stores.  They don't have five shirts in five different sizes.  You have a giant store with thousands upon thousands of pieces of clothing, usually sorted by type (ladies t-shirts, ladies skirts, etc.) and most times even by color...but NEVER by size.  And you have to look.  And look.  And look.  But I saw everything from a size 0 to a size 28 yesterday and everything in between....and I wasn't even looking for those sizes.  I wanted some long sleeve shirts for the Fall transition and probably touched every shirt in the store.  So, yeah, it's work.  And sometimes I don't even find anything I like.  But sometimes (like yesterday) I hit pay-dirt and it's like Christmas in August!  

Here's a couple of insider tips too - only because I like you.  One, check your local stores to find out if they have discount (usually 1/2 off) days, or offer Senior Citizen discounts.  Two, find some Thrift Stores in the fancy/schmancy parts of town.  The folks in that area tend to give away more, well, fancy/schmancy clothes that haven't been worn very much.  Shop around though - make sure you aren't paying more for a second hand shirt than you would for a t-shirt at Walmart.  Some of these places price their clothes as if they don't really want to sell them, know what I mean?

Good luck and NO MORE EXCUSES!!!  I'm not listening......

Help a Girl Out!

Here's a golden opportunity - YOU do the suggesting and I will do the ever-so-hard listening (it's hard to listen with my mouth always running!!!).  

My family shares one bathroom for showering (not all at one time!).  We all have razors stored in the bathtub.  I buy whatever razor I can get on sale and have a coupon for....so there is definitely no male/female distinction between them.  I'm sure you can already see my problem - no one knows whose razor is whose.  Want to make a husband mad?  Use his razor to shave your legs.  Want to make a 20 year old scream because she just 'thinks' someone has used hers?  Yeah...it's a madhouse sometimes.

So, what do we do?  I've already tried different fingernail polish colors (rubs off) and even sharpies (no good place to color in on the black razor handles).  I've already stated I refuse to buy different colors for different people. 

Any suggestions before I use these razors to do bodily harm....on something other than my legs???

Whit's Wisdom

Customer Reward Cards driving you nuts?  I love that most stores now offer this type of loyalty goody to keep you coming back, but honestly, sometimes I just wish they'd just tattoo a bar code on my arm so I don't have to keep up with the stinking card!  I was so excited when a lot of the stores began allowing your phone number to be used as an alternative id, but there are some people out there that truly respect their privacy and refuse to give out their phone numbers.  I can't honestly disagree with that either - the less you put your personal info out there the less chance you have for identity theft.  But that's another subject for another day, so back to the cards...

I have to tell you that I absolutely hate carrying these cards on my house/car key ring.   If I drive my Husband's car to the store then I don't have my cards with me.  Plus my Husband carries the keys in his pocket.  If he were to carry around all these cards he wouldn't be able to sit down!  So I have developed two different systems to alleviate these problems.  

System 1

Such a simple idea, right?  I found a keyring floating around the house and used it to store all of my reward cards together.  This way I can keep the whole wad in my purse, throw them in the glove box (my Mother in Law calls it the "pocket") or hand it to my Husband or Daughters if they need them.  

System 2

I have to admit it...I got this adorable card case free from Victoria's Secret, and I was just dying to find a use for it!  This is a great way to store not only reward cards but gift cards too!  When I go to the mall I make sure this has any 'freebie' card I might have received in it!  Plus it's super cute and stylish and makes me feel fashionable.  Hubby doesn't generally carry this one with him, but my girls don't seem to mind.

Why do you need two such wonderful systems, you ask?  Well, that has a two-fold answer!  The first is....I have a ton of Reward Cards and System 2 can't hold them all.  The second answer?  I lost System 1 for a time and had to find all the large cards and create System 2.  {blush}  I certainly hope one (or both) of these will help you - or at least inspire you to find a system that works best for you!

Whit's Wit

You know how Hansel and Gretel left a trail of breadcrumbs to find their way home?  

MY children leave DIRTY DISHES!!

Whit's Wit

My Husband, Gary, and I have been married for 12+ years, and in those years we have done lots and lots of home repair projects together.  We work really well together, except for one tiny problem.  Gary works and rests and works and rests....I go at everything as if it is the worst possible thing in the world and I HAVE TO finish it NOW.  (And it is and I do.)  So I tend to work on things while he is resting...and thereby creating more things for him to fix. 

For example, when there was that huge metal toggle bolt screwed into the wall that he said "don't mess with that - I'll get it in a minute"....but his minute is NOT my minute.  So I just stuck a screw-driver in there and pried that sucker out ...and a large chunk of the drywall too.  Stuff like that.

We are working on a bathroom re-papering/painting project now and I told him that he would be super proud of me!  I had refrained from trying to remove the light fixture yesterday by coining a clever little phrase:  "WWGBMNTD?"  It took him a while, but he figured it out and agreed that it was a wonderful use of initialism:

What Would Gary Beg Me NOT To Do?

 At this rate I might get out of doing EVERYTHING!

Whit's Wit

I'm writing a book!!!!!   I only have the title so far, though.

It's called "Oh, The Book I Could Write If I Only Had a Nitrous Tank".

Sorry Folks!

I've had some family business to take care of these last couple of days and blogging has not been a priority.  I should be back tomorrow for FAMILY FRIDAY and hope to show you how I redid my dining chairs!

Whit's Wit

I have a mirror in my bathroom that is pretty big.  Big enough for me to see most of myself while I'm preparing to shower.  At least, I think it is me - or my Magic Mirror is a wrinkled, pudgy old woman.  Anyway, tonight I had a long talk with myself and decided enough is enough!  Tomorrow I am going to be pro-active and do something about this mess!

I'm going to have my Husband raise that damned mirror up at least 2 feet!!

Whit's Wisdom

I've been really blogged down today (blogged - get it?  ha?) and didn't even really think about what I was going to talk about tonight.  I did, however, make some amazing meat pies out of a little of this and a lot of that, so since they were so successful I think I will share my recipe tonight!

Alrighty, to begin with, if you are an awesome cook or someone who has to completely follow a recipe, you might as well stop reading.  This is in no way a real recipe from a real cook.  When I said above "a little of this..." I meant it!  I had some ground pork that I had to do something with and I just started playing.  Somehow it turned out yummy.  Hopefully I will be able to replicate it.  So if you try this - and it stinks - uhm, I warned you.

Ingredients:

1. Approx. 1 1/2 lbs. ground or chopped meat - I used fresh chopped pork (chopped in my food processor) because I had tons of it leftover from a smoked roast and chops.  I am thinking that ground beef or turkey would work really well too.  Make sure the meat is already cooked!!
2. 1  large can of french onion soup  - drained - but reserve the stock.
3. 2-3.7 fl oz of jalapenos - finely chopped
4. cumin
5. 1 clove of minced garlic
6. garlic salt to taste
7. a little salt, a lot of pepper
8. Panko bread crumbs (usually found in the Asian section at your grocery store)
9. Egg Roll Wrappers (I found these in the health food section)  * if you don't want to use these you can use a pie crust cut into squares and just improvise.  This would be more fattening, but probably pretty good!!

So, I drained the onions from the soup and put the onions, chopped jalapenos and minced garlic in a large non-stick pan and basically just heated them up on a medium heat for a few minutes to blend the flavors.  I then added my ground pork and mixed well.  Lower the heat to just a simmer, and  add  in just enough onion soup to moisten the meat - not swimming in it.  Then I added a good bit of cumin.  See, cumin is a hard spice (?) to use in my opinion.  Too little and you don't taste it - too much and it smells like feet.  So I did a LOT of adding and tasting, adding and tasting.  If you want to play it safe, you could add just a packet of taco seasoning instead of the cumin....  but you decide.  Anyway, add in the seasoning and some garlic salt, salt and pepper to taste. 

Once you have the flavors the way you enjoy them (add in some extra jalapenos if you like super spicy!) put in 1/2 cup of Panko bread crumbs and the mixture into your food processor.  Turn it on and let it spin for 30 seconds or so.  It is basically making this concoction into a paste - a meat paste.  Sounds gross - tastes yummy!

Follow the directions on the back of the Egg Roll Wrapper for rolling egg rolls.  Basically, you spray a cookie sheet with cooking spray, lay a wrapper on it, put 2 tbs of meat product in the center, and fold similar to a diaper...then roll it up!  I never knew it was so easy!

Bake as directed on the wrapper package.  I think mine was 400 for 10-12 mins.  I wanted mine crunchy on both sides so I rolled them over and put them on the bottom rack for about 4 more minutes.  Gotta keep an eye on them though!

Are you totally lost now?  I sure hope not because these are really tasty treats.  So good, in fact, that my Daughter's boyfriend wants me to add it to our New Years Eve Menu.  I call that making it to the big league!!

Whit's Wisdom

Check, check and RE-Check!!

I spent the day thrift store shopping with my Mom and my Daughters (plus a bonus Daughter!).  I had a fantastic day!  We laughed, we shopped, we got awesome stuff for next to nothing PLUS discounts on some of it.  It was seriously a perfect way to spend the day.

...and then I got home.  After unloading all of our great loot and divvying up between us, I realized I was missing 3 items - all of them belonging to my youngest Daughter, Sammi.  We searched the car, I called my Mom and she searched her bags, I called the store to see if they had it there (nope), I searched the car again...the items just aren't there.  Keep in mind we were thrift store shopping.  The missing merchandise only totaled $8.  And with the additional discounts we received I'm really only out about $3.  

But here's the thing.  At one time, not too awful long ago, minus $3 might have meant I didn't have lunch money for my kids.  $3 doesn't make or break us now, but at one time it did.  So I have a hard time 'letting go' of that money.  I think it is important to remember the past mistakes so you can avoid them in the future.

So....here's how I plan to "let go - but remember" this mistake:  I'm going to remember to check my bags and my receipts WHEREVER I shop BEFORE I leave the parking lot.  It's that simple.  I will get to my vehicle, get inside with my purchases (lock the door - safety first!), and check my receipt against my purchases.  People make mistakes - computers make mistakes - and since it is ultimately MY responsibility to make sure I get the items I purchased at the price I agreed to pay, then I am going to stop making my own silly mistakes.

I have to admit that while I am typing this I am thinking "yeah - sure you will check every single item you purchase at the GROCERY STORE...liar".  But while I'm purchasing groceries I am more watchful at the register because of coupons, and because the bagging process is much more streamlined there than at regular stores.  But I do vow to check my buggy (grocery cart) more carefully to guarantee I don't leave something in the bottom and to be very a vigilant watcher during the checkout process.

Look - it's OUR money - If I'm going to give it away I'd like to know who I'm giving it to, right??  Head my advice friends; you don't want to walk in my Daughter's shoes - which is one of the missing items - do you?

Whit's Wit

A friend of mine and her husband purchased a Harley yesterday as their joint Anniversary present.  She and I were chatting (via Facebook) and I told her that I thought it was wonderful they both enjoyed riding, but I was such a chicken that Gary and I would have to agree to invest in a beach house or something if we were going to share an Anniversary gift.  

She responded like this:  "Thank you Whitney...the way I look at it...if it is our time to go...it is our time to go....why not enjoy life while we can."

My reply?    "Well, I want to go out screaming, but in a FUN way (wink wink) not a TERRIFIED way!!!"

I hope you all have a fun exit plan!

Sunday Preview

Log in to Whit's Words next week to see how this chair:

Became THIS chair:

I'll give you step by step directions on how to and all the hints and tips on how not mess up the same way I did!!

Whit's Wit

 FAMILY FRIDAY!!!

I know you won't believe this, but I swear all the girls in this family exited the womb talking.  Not gurgling, baby-talk....full fledged conversations.  So it was really no surprise when my Niece, Casey,  who probably wasn't even walking yet, could converse with my Mom and I on our random shopping trips.  However, I was not aware how good of a listener and observer she was until that fateful day....(insert memory music here)

We were in the parking lot of a Mall in our small little town.  It had been a long time coming and people were very excited about the Grand Opening.  Needless to say, the parking lot was packed.  Now, I'm from the south, where their are lots of pickup trucks and cowboy hats.  One man matching said description pulled his truck out in front of me without even a good ole' tip of his hat in apology.  Well, I might have said something like "Woah!!  Wait a minute Bubba!  Not so fast!!"

We finally parked the car and headed up with all the other hundreds of folks to the entrance.  I'm carrying my little Niece Casey when suddenly taps me on my shoulder, points her little arm out wide and says in a big, clear voice "Look, Aunt Whitney, there's Bubba!!!  Right there - it's Bubba - in the boots!!!  You know, Bubba with the Truck!!"

She was right. 

I hope to teach HER little boy a few select words of my own someday.

Whit's Wisdom

I cannot tell a lie....I did not make what I am about to show you.  Instead, I paid $1.00 for it at the Atlanta Gift Mart where someone had whipped it up in a panic when she realized she didn't have a cake plate to place her Customer Appreciation cake.  Oh to be so clever and level headed in a crisis!

This is my cake plate.  Nice, average sized, classic pedestal style cake plate.

and THIS is how my cake plate is made - a decorative, plastic plate and a bowl hot glued together!

I really think this is just such a quick and inexpensive way to fancy-up your parties.  Not only can these be used as cake plates, but you can use different sized plates for your tablescapes, for displaying centerpieces, etc.  If I ever have the occasion, I plan on using mismatched tea cups and saucers in this manner to serve cupcakes.  You can purchase plates and bowls so inexpensively at thrift shops, yards sales and on clearance racks.  You could easily make special holiday-themed ones for every season.

However, the BEST way to display these cake plates is like this:

With something yummy and chocolate on them!!!! 

(cookies compliments of Samantha).

Whit's Wisdom

Never ever, ever, ever admit that you find David Spade "kind of attractive".  You will never live it down.

Whit's Wit

My 16 year old Daughter, Samantha, came into my room this morning and said "You know that phrase 'You are the love of my life?'"  and I answered "Yes?" and her dialogue continued something like this:

"...that's really stupid, isn't it?  I mean, shouldn't it be 'you are the love of my life...so far?'  You have a 20 year old, whose been in a relationship for maybe two years, and he says 'you are the love of my life'....big deal!  You're only 20 years old....you haven't had a life!   I mean, if you've been married 25 years you might be able to say 'I really think you are going to be the love of my life and I'll let you know.'   It's like saying 'you are the best girlfriend I have ever had!'  Well, of course I am - all the others broke up with you or you didn't like them...how is that a compliment?  You are the best girlfriend I've ever had....that hasn't dumped me yet."

And people think teenagers are stupid.  This one is smarter than most adults I know.

Whit's Wit

To understand this story you are going to have to read an old joke first:

A poor young man, having lost his eye in a horrible accident, was fitted with a prosthetic eye made of wood.  He was very depressed, feeling that he was so unattractive now that no woman would ever want to be with him.  In an attempt to cheer him up, a few of his friends invited him to a dance.  Once there, the young man noticed a young woman sitting by herself in the corner.  Since she was alone, he thought he might try to talk to her.  His friends thought it was a great idea, but warned him that she had just had cosmetic surgery to repair a hairlip condition, and although it was barely noticeable, she was extremely self conscious about it.  The young man was so happy to find someone who might understand his plight as well, that he boldly approached the young lady and asked if she would like to dance.  The girl was so happy to have been asked to dance by such a handsome man that she exclaimed "Would I? Would I?"  

His reply?  "HAIRLIP! HAIRLIP!!"

Ok, that is one of my all time favorite jokes and I have probably shared it with everyone I have ever met.  Having said that, let's jump over to a day in my office where I worked for a gentleman named Richard....who went by the nickname Dick.  One day a co-worker came into the office asking if I knew where some files had been moved...I said I had no idea.  Hearing the question, one of the other ladies yelled over the cubicle "Dick knows - Dick knows!" 

The reply?  "HAIRLIP! HAIRLIP!"

Whit's Wisdom

So I keep saying that I don't sew - but I sure have been sewing a lot lately!  I guess I should just start saying I don't sew well!  Anyway, it didn't seem to stop my Daughter from asking me to stitch together a chair skirt for her vanity stool.

She is definitely my child...when she gets an idea in her head she wants it NOW and she wants it FREE.  So after she had spray painted her old vanity and stool a beautiful, bright white she realized the dingy beige cushion was going to drive her crazy.  She searched through our stash of stuff and found four lovely cloth napkins that I had purchased (on sale, of course) to use in my kitchen, but for some reason they never really got used.  Stephanie simply fell in love with the pattern and was going to use them to cover the stool.  Unfortunately, the stool was just a bit too big.  Sewing two of them together would have put a giant seam down the middle of the cushion.  What to do, what to do??

Little Sister to the rescue!!  Samantha, my youngest, suggested making a skirt instead of covering the chair!  She even figured out that we really only needed three napkins for the skirt and the fourth could be used on the vanity itself.  We cut two napkins in half, sewing a half napkin onto the edges of the full napkin...like this:

Then all she had to do is drape it over the cushion:

How clever was that?!?!  These napkins had already beautiful white zig-zag border around it, so my lousy sewing skills don't even really show up!  For someone who sews on a regular basis, this would have probably taken about 15 minutes to complete.  Since I always like to teach my kids how NOT to do something, it took me at least (at least!!) and hour.

Now and Free?  SUCCESS on both!!

Whit's Wit

Parents who get excited when summer vacation is over so the kids will go back to school obviously believe that children should get out of bed before 2 pm,  play outside, read books and make a valuable contribution to the Family unit.  

I think those parents need to buy a corkscrew and learn how to use it. 

Whit's Wisdom

I mentioned yesterday that I learned a LOT last week while my Mom was sick in the hospital.  Well, today I want to talk about an absolutely precious X-Ray Technician that, for some reason, seemed to feel confident in confiding some of her personal life to my Mom and I.  Now, I won't begin to tell you her entire story because that would be wrong - but I will give you a brief overview so that we can get to the 'wisdom' portion of this writing.

Seems that Madame X (ha, get it?) had a wonderful life going on.  She was divorced, but had a beautiful,  healthy daughter and a secure job.  She also had a long-distance boyfriend and another guy she was interested in here in town (nothing serious with either).  And she was absolutely worrying herself to death about these two fellas.  Could she let herself get involved with someone ever again, should she tell the guy away about the guy here, was she doing the right thing with either of them....blah, blah, blah!  Like I said, she was just one of the most effervescent people I have ever met.  I simply could not believe she was putting herself through such inner turmoil.  Once she finally took a big long breathe, I asked "So....why are you in such a hurry?  Are you happy with your life?  Are things good just the way they are right now?"  and she answered "oh, yes - I love my life now!"

So do you get where I'm headed here?  This lovely woman, with a very happy life, with lots of fun going on was basically RUNNING towards her goal - and she didn't even have one.   Humans tend to set time frames on everything we do.  I've been engaged three times in my life.  The first - we were in love but too young; the third - we were in love and after a few years and the right timing it just worked out wonderfully.  But the second time I, too, was running towards ....???  I don't even know to this day where I was running.  But I simply HAD to get there - and I guess I thought marriage was my magic carpet.  Needless to say - it wasn't. I thought I had to be married, to have children, to have a home, to have....what?  And when all that was finally achieved, that's all we really had - a giant question mark - where do we go from here??

My current (and forever) Husband and I met through work and weren't allowed to date.  Which, of course, made us want to date.  But we had zero plans for a future with each other.  He lived in a different state, but visited Georgia a few times a year (family and business).  As I liked to say back then "he was my Boy Toy" - he was going to be someone to go to dinner with - go to Braves games with when he was in town - someone to boost my ego and that was it.  I didn't look to the future or wonder if he was going to be there tomorrow, because I simply didn't expect him to be.   And I truly believe that since we weren't running to whatever we thought we should be looking for, we found exactly what we needed.

I tried, and hopefully succeeded, to convince Madame X that she simply did not need to do ANYTHING.  Since she wasn't sexually active with either man she didn't have a moral obligation to tell each of them about the other.  No one was expressing love yet, so she didn't have the guilt of leading anyone on.  She could simply sit back and enjoy the fun and excitement and companionship and leave the future to the future!

Yes, I have dealt mainly with the love-relationship angle of this "hurry, hurry, hurry life" topic, but you can apply it to every aspect of your life.  Just graduated from college and expect to get your perfect job making 6 digits already?  Think again.  Got yourself in debt and want to take out more loans to 'hurry up' and get back on your feet?  Not smart and it's not going to happen quickly.  Knocking on 30's door and think you absolutely have to have a baby now?  40 is the new 30 and adoption is always a fantastic alternative as well.  Don't rush your life along just because you think you will be happier or more satisfied if you do.  Take a look at how satisfied you are RIGHT NOW....sometimes you really don't want or need to change a thing!!

Whit's Wit

If you aren't a denture wearer you probably aren't aware that, if you have any type of surgery or receive any sort of anesthesia, you must remove your dentures.  I'm not sure why, but I'd imagine it has something to do with choking.  And, as bad as the idea of choking sounds to most of us, denture wearers usually would rather risk that than to remove their dentures in front of strangers!

This being the case of a Co-worker of mine, she made her Sister swear on the Bible that her teeth would go back into her mouth just as soon as she was back in the hospital room after her hysterectomy.  The Sister, Margaret, was as flighty as a hummingbird and was always screwing up, so my friend, Diane, was never confident that she would actually follow through with her promise.  On the other hand, Margaret, having such a negligent reputation, was determined to prove her older Sister wrong!  They agreed the dentures would be in the bedside table and Margaret would be waiting in the hospital to be sure to put them in Diane's mouth before anyone had a chance to visit her.

Well, the surgery went fine, and as they were rolling Diane back into her room, she saw her sister reach into the nightstand.  Diane, groggy from the anesthesia says "i mi mou".  Margaret, in a panic, said "I know - I know - I'll find them!!" and ran to another table in the room.  Diane, still groggy, repeated "i mi mou!"  With tears streaming down Margaret's face, she yanks the clothes out of the closet and starts searching frantically.  Diane finally sits up in bed - grabs her sister by her shirt, opens her mouth and points inside "IN Mi MOUFF!!"

The teeth had been in there the whole time.  Gotta love Nurses!

Whit's Wisdom

I've been on a blog sabbatical the last two weeks.  The first was due to my "Stay-cation" in which we stayed home and did some work around the house, did a little bit of fun stuff, and I basically refused to do any sort of housework.  The second week consisted of sitting in a hospital room with my Mom for seven days while the Doctors tried to figure out what exactly was causing her to be in such pain.  The final diagnosis was Salmonella - source unknown.  She is home now and feeling about 85% well and we are both planning on NEVER going back to the hospital again!  Honestly, we received wonderful care and are very grateful to the Doctors and Hospital Staff, but it was NOT Disney World!

During Mom's stay at the hospital we spoke with a number of different people on a variety of subjects.  It's just what people do when they are waiting or helping each other.  You talk.  You share stories.  You discuss things you might not even discuss with a friend or neighbor.  You give advice.  You take advice.  You get to know each other.  Had my Mother not been so sick and in so much pain, we honestly would have had a really nice time.  I will be blogging about some of the things we discussed over the week, but let me start with the one I find most important.

It's amazing what an affect you can have on someone by just taking a few minutes to ask them something about themselves.  My Mom, even on her worst days, made it a point to ask everyone who entered her room something about their personal life.  Not SUPER personal - just a friendly "how are you today?" or "do you have any children?" or "how was your off day yesterday?".  And then she waited for their answer....and listened....and remembered.  So when the lady with three children came in two days later, she mentioned those children in conversation.  Mom laughed with the fella who came to check her IV - and he felt comfortable enough to walk back in  to share something funny he had read on her chart.  She (and I) gave the cleaning lady advice about how to monitor her daughter's cell phone time.  We talked the X-ray Technician into relaxing about life and just enjoy dating.  My Mom and Daddy showed compassion to the Nurse who sprained her ankle and went out of their way to keep her from walking on it. 

Mom had one Nurse who gave us the impression she might be hard to get along with.  She wasn't one to chat, she didn't seem to have much compassion, and just basically rubbed us the wrong way.  But instead of complaining, Mom and I 'niced' her to death.  We thanked her for everything she did, we were patient, we were kind, we were understanding...and she turned out to be one of the best Nurses we had!  She was just not a talkative person - she even said her Husband talked for the both of them.  Instead of just writing her off as a 'bad Nurse' we made an effort to find the good...and we found it!  She was just different from the norm.

I guess my ramblings here are to remind you all to that a little kindness and attention can go a long way.  My Mom did not feel good at all - I was a worried mess -so in all fairness, no one would have blamed either of us if we had been demanding and rude.  But my Mom set a wonderful example which I followed.  In all her pain she took time to be nice to those who were looking after her and, in doing so, she was given superb care and treated with respect.  Before we left two of the Staff came into her room to hug her and thank her for being so wonderful.  She demonstrated, by actions and words, that she appreciated all their hard work.

Next time you are faced with a choice of Kindness or Rudeness - why don't you take the road less traveled?  It can make all the difference....

Where's Whit?

I'm on vacation this week.  Actually, it turned out to be a Staycation.  Our beach plans fell through  - but you probably already knew that by the screaming and wailing you heard coming from my blog.  Who knows, though....this might turn out to be better than the sandy beaches, cushy hotel, wonderful swimming pool, eating out.....yeah...who am I kidding?

I'll see you guys next Monday.  Have a wonderful week and remember that this is a fantastic time to catch up on your reading!!!

Whitney

Whit's Wit

FAMILY FRIDAY!!!

My Mother and I were attending a function at my Daughter's Elementary School one year.  It was an outdoor PE demonstration, so everyone was settle around the parking lot of the school, in a very casual manner - some standing, but most of us sitting on the ground, chatting and waiting for the demonstration to start.

Since we were somewhat gathered up, we could easily hear other conversations taking place around us.  My Community is filled with many different races of people, so it is not surprising at all to hear many different languages spoken when out and about.  So when these two Hispanic ladies began to chat in their native tongue, it was not surprising to us.  However, a few minutes into their conversation my Mother got this very strange expression on her face - leaned into me and whispered:

"Can you hear them?"  "Yes, Ma'am",  I replied.  

"Can you hear what they are saying?" Again "Yes, Ma'am." 

"Can you UNDERSTAND what they are saying?"  and my final "Yes, Ma'am".  

"Oh...are they speaking English now????  I thought all of a sudden I was able to understand SPANISH!! schwew!!"

To this day we will ask her to read something in Spanish and she will return with "You know I can't READ it, I can just understand the Spoken Word!"

My arguments with any of my family members are just a different way of saying I love you. Granted, sometimes we are SCREAMING I love you - but it's still love. I'm so glad I have great children and a fabulous husband. My ulcer couldn't handle bad ones...

(OK, OK Facebook friends - I know this was my status yesterday.  Sometimes you only get to drink one creative 'juice box' a day - and this was a result of mine! So sue me.)

Whit's Wit - "Ode to Undies"

or "The Day I Took Back My Life"

When I was growing up underwear was underwear.  They were white...maybe pale pink or blue.  They covered up you entire rear-end and went up past your navel.  Everyone my age wore the same kind.  There was no competition with who had the prettiest undies or what name brand you wore.  If you wanted to get a little crazy, you might have owned a set of the 'days of the week' panties, throwing caution to the wind and wearing Tuesday on Friday.  But that's as crazy as undies got.

I always thought that 'sexy panties' were for one reason and one reason only. 

As I got older, I acquired a few of those 'other' kind of undies.  But these were worn for their one purpose only - and also on laundry day.  On laundry day you needed to make sure you washed all your day-to-day undies, so the pretty ones had to be worn then.   I bet more men have been sorely disappointed when they got into bed at night, only to learn that they had clean clothes.  (yeah...think about it a minute - you'll get it.)

All was light and comfy in my world, until THAT day....the day I was told the "sexy underwear secret".  My Boss (female), Friend and Mentor, went out shopping during lunch one day and returned with shopping bags FULL of pretty, sexy underwear.  She had purchased bras, panties, camisoles and slips - several colors - all matchy-matchy and cute as could be.  Then she sat me down and explained that "women don't wear sexy underwear for men - they wear it to feel good about themselves!"  Well, shiver MY timbers!  Who knew?? 

Thus began my 25 year journey into a world of beauty and complication.  I had my "feel good about me" undies; my "feel like I'm young again" undies (remember, I had all those wasted 'white' years); my "do these make my butt look SMALL?" undies; my "note-the-way-I-feel-today-on-my-ass" undies; and my "period" panties.  (If you don't understand - you are a man.)  And when I went to Weight Watchers and lost 25 pounds at age 40, I finally had my "I am old but not dead yet and a heck of a lot thinner" thong-undies.  And I felt good about myself - because that was the 'real reason' I was wearing them, right?

Does anyone else know that feeling good about yourself comes with a lot of wedgies?  And how much you have to change your underwear?  You have to make sure you have on the proper cut, color and style whenever you put on clothing or you can see panty lines or colors shining through your white skirts.  And then there is the dreaded Muffin-Top.  Think about it...a new phrase was coined to describe the way "a roll of flesh spilling over the top of a tight skirt or trousers" looks -  all because of underwear.  But, it's obviously worth the pain because makes us feel "good about ourselves", right?


So for 25 years I've felt really good about myself.  I felt so good about me that one time I wore yoga pants to the dentist office for three crowns to be done.  I felt so good about me that I wore a thong under those yoga pants to the dentist office for three hours worth of dental work to be done.  Three LONG hours of sitting in a chair, completely helpless, with someone in the room with me at all times.  Someone with me AT ALL TIMES for three long hours of sitting in a chair with a THONG splitting my body in half in a very slow and painful manner.  Let's just say if I ran Guantanamo Bay there would be a lot less water-boarding and lot more Thong-Wearing.

And yet, even after the torture training, I carried on.  I am not a quitter.  I didn't wear my yoga pants very often, but I still pulled, yanked, tugged and dug for a couple of more years..just to prove that I was still a confident woman.  One afternoon recently I noted that my 20 year old Daughter was wearing these cute little Yoga Capris with zero panty lines....and she had a very relaxed look on her face.  Well, I was NOT having my daughter wandering around with (obviously) no underwear on!  I coyly began the interrogation by saying "soooo....what kind of underwear do you wear with yoga pants?"  To my surprise she said "oh, I wear the full butt kind".   She continued "I'm with kids all day (babysitter/nanny) - I'm not going to be chasing after them and be miserable because of my underwear....are you kidding me?  Besides, these look good and who am I trying to impress?  I'm not trying to be all sexy for anyone right now."  

What?  Not a thong?  Where are your panty lines?  Where is that confidence coming from then?  How are you happy with yourself???  How can you be confident and content if your not pulling out a wedgie? ...and yet, she seemed to have not a worry in the world....she seemed....at PEACE.


I went immediately to purchase the biggest pair of underwear I could find.  I didn't even care about the color.  $6.95 for a packet of 6.  I was right all along.  Sexy panties ARE for one thing and one thing only.  I will never doubt myself again.

Whit's Wit

A friend recently stated that "whoever said children keep you young was LYING!"  I responded that I agreed completely; which is why I was using the "pickling' method to preserve my youth!!

Whit's Wit

I think I've mentioned before that my Husband is a Grand Champion Snorer.  The other night my Husband had fallen asleep on his back while I was still awake reading.  Normally I have to wake him up to roll over, but he miraculously awoke and rolled over by himself.  In an effort to applaud his thoughtfulness, the following conversation took place:

Me:  "Oh, you are rolling over without my making you!  Yay!!"

Gary:  "Yes.  I am rolling over so I won't snore so loudly, and to make it easier for you to KISS MY ASS!"

The Honeymoon is over.

Whit's Wit

 FAMILY FRIDAY!!

My Mom is a chronic list maker.  She writes down every single little thing that she needs to do.  (Yes, exactly where I get it from!)  When we were younger she used to keep her "Things to Do" list on the refrigerator so she could add to it or mark off things when she was done.

One day, when I was obviously bored out of my head, I was perusing her list.  Somewhere down around line 17 the hand writing changed ever so slightly and the entry read:

Paint "SEE ROCK CITY" on roof.

Yep - kids have been hijacking parents ever since the dark ages.