Weigh Cool!

Weigh NOT so cool today

I have to admit it - I had a weight crisis today.  It wasn't so much what I was eating, but what I was thinking.  And it's not nice - and it might even tick some of you off.  But it also is the truth and it might help someone else...so I'm saying it anyway.

Today started with my eating a big, fat muffin.  It wasn't low fat, it had oil and milk and eggs in it, it was super-sized and it was YUMMY.  And that would have been ok, if I'd have stopped there.  I had planned on eating a salad for lunch...but there was just enough leftovers for one more steak sandwich....yes, a greasy steak sandwich with cheese and - get this - french fried onions!  And I also had one just the night before!  And it was fattening and delicious.  Ok, ok - so no big deal - I cheated - we all cheat - I'm always preaching to just get back on that horse and ride, Sally, ride!  But not today.

Today I told myself I was jumping off Sally and jumping on the FAT TRAIN.  Seriously.  I am so tired of worrying about what I eat.  I'm tired of controlling myself, sick of making good choices - and then looking at everyone around me having a great time eating whatever they want, whenever they want it!  And I am NOT the Norm anymore.  I'm a size 8.  I'd speculate that the average woman is now a 14.  So why do I care if I get bigger?  I'll just be like everyone else.  I could eat more, I could go out to eat and not look at the menu before I left the house to see what has the lowest calories and make sure I make a good decision.  I was totally serious about it....I'm not kidding.

But then I took it to another level - I thought about all the other areas of my life that I have to use self control over - drinking alcohol, smoking, spending money frivolously...there are a ton of things that I would LOVE to do but have to control my urges because if I did them it would be horrible for me.  Just like over-eating.  It's not bad for me every once in a while, but it will be if I let down my guard.  I don't want to be that person in the motorized wheelchair holding up the line.  I don't want to be that woman who has to purchase two seats on a plane and suffer the embarrassment.  I don't want to be that woman who can't look in the mirror and see someone she approves of staring back at her.  I don't love everything about her, but I am proud of her for being different.

So, I made up with Sally (the horse, remember?), and jumped back on her and decided to keep on doing what I'm doing.  A little self-control could be all you need to become that person you want staring back at you too.