Wonderings and Ponderings

Sometimes having all the information at your fingertips is more damning than good.  Being able to Google (or, in my world SWAG) anything and everything and find one million different websites offering ten million different opinions is fantastic - when it's something unimportant like how to bake potatoes or searching for a movie.  But when you start using it to diagnose an illness, or find out how to build a bomb, or what the most undetectable poison is...well, then you have to start asking that age old question "how much information is TOO MUCH information?"

You see, my Sheltie, Zoe, is my best friend.  She follows me from room to room during my daily routine, sitting or laying near me at all times, helping me cook, keeping me safe during storms (well, one of us feels safer), kissing me when I am sad and listening to every word I say without ever offering her own opinion.  Zoe is almost 9 years old and has had allergies for, oh, 6 of those years, I guess. Also, Zoe might have lung cancer.  We took her to the vet back in September to get her cough medicine refilled.   X-rays were made and a mass was found on her lungs.  Since she has coughed for so many years, this could be simple scar tissue.  But canine lung cancer is not curable.  After several days of discussion, my Husband and I decided that we would not subject her to chemo or radiation IF she did have cancer....so we decided not to find out if she has it or not.  I'm a horrible worrier and we knew I would just sit and cry until the end.

Our Vet said we would 'just know' by March.  Well, it is almost May and she has seemed like my normal, wonderful, healthy dog until the last few days.  Actually, she STILL seems like my normal, wonderful, healthy dog - but she is panting a lot.  Which could be absolutely normal because it is hot and humid here.  I've panted harder over the last few days myself....it's just STUFFY.  And the grass pollen allergies is incredibly high in this area....and she is close to the ground, ya know?  So I truly could be worried for absolutely no reason.

Finally finding my way back to the point of this article, though - I honestly thought if I looked up her symptoms and was informed that perhaps I could stop worrying.  No.  That's a lie.  I HONESTLY thought that if I looked  up her symptoms that I would (a) not find anything or (b) find good news.  I didn't think I would find that panting is a symptom of canine lung cancer and that she quite possibly is having a hard time breathing because of the tumors.  So here I sit, tears streaming down my face, full of information that may or may not having bearing on our future.

I've always said that I could search anything from ingrown toenail to headache, and everything in between, and there would be something out there that would say I had cancer.  I can hear a clicking in my car and find that it might be a penny rolling around in the cup tray OR my transmission is blowing up.  The internet is not a diagnostic tool for your car or your body.  Or your dog's body.  And it's not a magic eight-ball.  Or a psychic.  It is a super highway of information that might be true, might be false, or might be something in-between.  It is a fantastic tool for entertainment purposes - - - but it is NOT GOD.  Only HE knows what the future holds for me, for Zoe, for my Family and Friends.

Just be CAREFUL what you search for....be sure that you even WANT to find an answer...and REALIZE that you are going to find answers that are facts, not facts, opinions, guesses, lies, wishes and fantasies.

Helping make my birthday cake

And, if you are the praying kind, please keep my sweet dogs Zoe and Jake, her 11 year old Labrador brother, in your thoughts and prayers.  And me too - for courage and  for strength to know when to leave well enough alone.